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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/28404696">Leave Me Breathless</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/lemondriz/pseuds/lemondriz'>lemondriz</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>NCT (Band)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Ambiguous Relationships, Canon Compliant, Choking, Confident Na Jaemin, Dom/sub Undertones, M/M, Oral Sex, Plot What Plot/Porn Without Plot, Shy Xiao De Jun | Xiao Jun, Teasing, some fluff towards the end, we need more xiaomin fics, why are xiaomin so underrated</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-12-29</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-12-29</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-10 16:39:52</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Mature</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>3,939</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/28404696</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/lemondriz/pseuds/lemondriz</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>"Why are you always so nervous around me?" Jaemin asks.</p><p>"Why do you go out of your way to make me nervous?" Dejun counters, meeting his eyes as confidently as he can. </p><p>"You make it so easy, and you get so flustered, it's adorable."</p><p>"Stop," Dejun whines, hands coming up and clutching at Jaemin's back of their own accord. </p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Na Jaemin/Xiao De Jun | Xiao Jun</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>119</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>Leave Me Breathless</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>This idea has been playing on my mind ever since I watched the <a href="https://www.vlive.tv/video/224037">tarot reading vlive</a> and I just knew I had to write it. God bless flustered little Dejun. Enjoy!</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Dejun doesn't think he's ever felt this awkward in his entire 21 year long lifespan, and as he finally approaches the end of their tarot reading live stream, he feels like a man that's been underwater for days and is so, <em> so </em> close to breaking the surface.</p><p>He prays to every deity in existence that his cheeks are not madly flushed after he sings a bit of Nectar timidly, the stare from the boy next to him boring holes into the side of his skull constantly.</p><p>Finally, <em> finally, </em>after what feels like eons but is actually a couple of seconds, Jeno and Jaemin are waving at the camera. Dejun, trying his best to not let his confusion at their antics show, looks at them and laughs, waving at the camera as well. He's been surviving this vlive through "yes's", stilted Korean, and mimicking what the other two were doing/saying. To be honest, he's quite proud of how far he's come in his Korean lessons and his tutor is really encouraging, and despite Dejun having trained for the least amount of time as compared to the rest of WayV, he doesn't think his Korean is half bad. </p><p>Except when it comes to cameras and live broadcasts, where he shrivels up internally and chooses to sometimes stay silent so that he doesn't fuck up in front of the fans. </p><p>So when he found out he'd be paired with Jaemin and Jeno for the vlive, two members who are known, publicly and amongst the members, to be long-time best friends, he made up his mind to keep his mouth shut (for the most part) and hope for the best. He was half-considering drinking Sicheng's god awful herbal tea to calm his nerves that morning.</p><p>He gets up from the couch, murmuring "Sorry for today..." and fiddles with the phone that's propped up sideways on the stand for their vlive. </p><p>Jeno, sprawled on the couch and waving enthusiastically at the camera, pipes up immediately, "No, no."</p><p>Jaemin is leaning slightly forward, a smile on his face that doesn't quite reach his eyes. "No, it was fun."</p><p>Dejun's finger slips at his tone and he curses internally. "Really?" he asks, hating the way his voice sounds hopeful and strangely desperate.</p><p>"Of course," Jaemin replies easily, his lazy smile never leaving his face. </p><p>Dejun blessedly finds the right button and the phone tilts a bit. "The end!" he calls out loudly, probably the most confident he's been for the past hour now that he's not in an awkward position, and he finally ends ths vlive. </p><p>He pries the phone out of the stand, not quite wanting to look up just yet, and exits the app. He takes his time shutting the other apps on the company phone one by one. </p><p>He can hear Jeno and Jaemin converse a few feet away on the couch, and when Dejun is finally down to closing the last app, Jeno slaps his hands on his thighs, sighing heavily before standing up. </p><p>"Well," he starts, eyes crinkling into a smile, "This was fun but I better bounce if I wanna make it to dance practice on time." </p><p>Jaemin pouts at that, "Why so soon? You can do the choreo in your sleep by now, I'm sure."</p><p>Dejun looks up at the pair of them, not knowing what to do, standing dumbly with the phone in his hands. </p><p>Jeno just laughs and stretches, nudging Jaemin's leg with his foot. "90's Love is literally in 5 days, I can't afford to slack off so close to d-day. Don't you have to practice for your comeback too?"</p><p>Jaemin leans back on the couch, turning sideways to flash Jeno a sultry grin. "Tomorrow. I don't have any schedules left for today."</p><p>"Lucky bastard," Jeno mumbles and kicks Jaemin in the shin again, the latter making an obscene "ooh" sound as he jumps in delight at the contact. </p><p>Dejun, choosing not to scream at this exchange, shuffles awkwardly on the balls of his feet, gripping the phone so tightly he feels his fingers bruising. </p><p>Jeno notices the movement from the corner of his eye and immediately perks up, walking over. "Give me the phone, hyung. I'm heading to practice so I'll hand it over to the staff along with the tarot cards, don't worry." Dejun nods a bit too violently, hair flopping over his glasses, and hands it over. </p><p>His ears must be playing tricks on him, because he hears "cute" murmured in a deep voice from somewhere near the couch. </p><p>If Jeno hears it, he chooses to ignore it. He flashes another smile at Dejun. "You did well, hyung. We're really sorry if you felt awkward. Let's hang out sometime, yeah? Renjunnie talks a lot about you. I know we're kind of packed until the end of the year with crazy schedules but I'm sure we can squeeze in one weekend!"</p><p>Dejun breathes out slowly, some of the tension bleeding from his shoulders, and a genuine smile forms on his face. "Yeah. Yes. Totally. I'd like that," he says, nodding again.</p><p>Jeno grins and nods back. "Cool. Well, see you later, hyung." He turns to the blob who's sprawled out on the couch. "Bye loser."</p><p>Jaemin raises his eyebrows and makes a face, not bothering to respond, but waves nevertheless as his best friend leaves the room with his backpack slung over his shoulders. </p><p>Dejun realises a horrifying beat later that he's alone with Na Jaemin. </p><p>
  <em> Why didn't you come up with some shitty excuse and leave along with Jeno, you absolute moron, you stupid wart, you bumbling idiot, you massive twat, you- </em>
</p><p>"You alright over there? You look like you swallowed a bug."</p><p>A lazy drawl cuts through his frantic musings and Dejun's head perks up. Jaemin is now sitting up, his legs crossed, fingers drumming against the sofa rhythmically.</p><p>"What? No. Yes. Wait. I mean yes, I'm okay. And no, I didn't swallow a bug." he rambles, wringing his fingers together. Jaemin chuckles lowly at that and Dejun, deciding that he's had enough awkwardness to last him a lifetime, moves to the side to pick up his bag. </p><p>He takes out his phone and scrolls through his notifications. The group chat is filled with discussions regarding who is going to be the one to buy Bella's dog food this time, as well as who all will be at their dorm for dinner. Dejun quickly shoots a text that he's done for the day and that he'll be on his way soon, receiving a thumbs up from Kun and a "don't come back" from Yangyang.</p><p>Dejun sends back the middle finger emoji and locks his phone, sighing. </p><p>"Are you sure you're okay?" Jaemin’s voice cuts through the silence. There’s a frown on his face and he looks genuinely concerned. Dejun shakes his head hurriedly and chokes out a laugh, "Yes. I'm fine. Just Yangyang being an ass in the group chat as per usual." He slips his phone into the pocket of his jeans and adjusts the strap of his bag over his shoulder. </p><p>"So, anyways, I've got to go-"</p><p>"Where are you going?" </p><p>Dejun stutters at the sudden question. "Uhh, home?" </p><p>"Are you asking me or telling me?"</p><p>Dejun feels like a bucket of ice cold water has been upturned over his head. </p><p>"I'm- I'm telling you."</p><p>"Wrong answer."</p><p>Dejun's palms suddenly feel sweaty and he gulps. </p><p>Jaemin just looks at him, a disappointed yet dark expression on his face. </p><p>"You're lucky I'm feeling generous because you were just so <em>cute</em> today. Don't think I haven't noticed you looking all shy in your oversized sweater and cute sleeves. Try again."</p><p>Dejun's throat constricts painfully at the praises and his mind reels at having been called out so easily. </p><p>"I'm asking you," he whispers, cheeks colouring instantly, and he drops his head.</p><p>"Good job!" Jaemin coos and stands up, pulling Dejun's bag off his shoulder and dragging the older boy, shoving him lightly to sit on the couch.</p><p>"There's no manager around and I know you don't have anything left to do for today. What's the rush to go home?" Jaemin asks, pout having returned in full force.</p><p>To Dejun's horror, Jaemin pulls Dejun's knees slightly apart and <em>sits on him</em>, arms winding around Dejun's neck as he makes himself comfortable. </p><p>Dejun struggles to reply with a lap full of a boy who is quite taller than him. "There's no rush, I'm just a bit tired." </p><p>"Oh. Hyung should probably get some rest then." Jaemin murmurs, still pouting, fingers lightly brushing the hair at the nape of Dejun's neck. </p><p>"Yeah. You too," he swallows roughly, hyper aware of the caresses that are setting him on edge.</p><p>"Hmmm" Jaemin hums but makes no move to get up. "But that would be too easy. And besides, hyung made a mistake."</p><p>Dejun's eyes widen and his mind wracks itself trying to remember. </p><p>He doesn't have to think for long, however, when Jaemin speaks up.</p><p> "When Jeno mentioned that we promoted together and you acted like we'd never spoken before today."</p><p>
  <em> Oh. </em>
</p><p>"That was just… me being nervous. I didn't really mean it, I swear."</p><p>Concern flashes in Jaemin's eyes again, his shoulders drooping as he sighs. Dejun grips the couch on either side, fingers itching to touch, to settle themselves on Jaemin's hips, but he refrains. </p><p>"Why are you always so nervous around me?"</p><p>"Why do you always try to <em> make </em> me nervous?" Dejun asks, meeting his eyes as confidently as he can. </p><p>"You make it so easy, and you get so flustered, it's adorable."</p><p>"<em> Stop </em>," Dejun whines, hands coming up and clutching at Jaemin's back of their own accord. </p><p>"I can if you want. You can, too. All you have to do is push me off and tell me to fuck off. Don't act like you can't, I've seen your biceps."</p><p>Dejun whines again, cheeks colouring, and swats at him, leaning forward to rest his forehead on Jaemin's chest. </p><p>They sit like that for a couple of minutes, Dejun having recovered from his embarassment but finding the position comfortable, burrowing his head on Jaemin's chest. </p><p>Jaemin's hands suddenly drop from Dejun's neck and he whispers, voice uncharacteristically hoarse, "I mean it, hyung. Just say the word and I'll stop."</p><p>Dejun looks up, finally. "You're being serious," he says, not sure if it's a question or not.</p><p>"I'm always being serious" Jaemin replies with a small smile, shrugging. "I can't help but push your buttons and take it a notch further because you're so fucking <em> cute </em> and I know you like me this way for the most part but we don't meet that often and I sometimes worry that you're not telling me if you're hurt or uncomfortable and you must know that there's no obligation and-"</p><p>Dejun cups his fingers around Jaemin's chin and leans up to slot their lips together. </p><p>Jaemin, having been shut up effectively, immediately climbs closer, pressing up their fronts together, fingers curling into Dejun's hair and back arching instantly. He coaxes Dejun's mouth open easily and he slides his tongue inside, eliciting a high pitched keen from the older.</p><p>When Jaemin pulls back for air after a while, Dejun breathes heavily, eyes lidded, "Does <em> that </em> answer your stupid rambling?"</p><p>Jaemin almost laughs at that but then suddenly stops himself, an idea forming quickly. He moves ever so slightly, with a slight roll of his hips, and leans forward so fast that their noses bump. </p><p>"Watch who you call stupid, hyung. Choose your words carefully," he says, voice husky, and Dejun goes cross-eyed, a lump forming in his throat. </p><p>"A-and what if I don't?" Dejun spits out before he can try to stop himself. Jaemin is <em> right there </em>and Dejun just needs to move a centimetre to kiss him senseless again, but he waits and pushes his luck. He's shaking in anticipation, wanting to know what move Jaemin will make next. </p><p>Jaemin's eyes turn dark at his words, and fingers come up to grip Dejun's neck, pressing ever so lightly. Dejun squeaks, and when Jaemin rolls his hips again while slowly increasing the pressure, Dejun thinks he's going to pass out from the sudden burst of pleasure that spreads through his veins and sets him on fire. </p><p>"Or I won't let you come. It's as simple as that, Junnie," Jaemin coos, literally <em>coos </em>as if speaking to a kindergartener, and Dejun wants to feel ashamed, dirty and pathetic at being talked down to like this. Instead, he feels a flame simmering in his belly and his heart hammering wildly against his chest. </p><p>His eyes squeeze shut, and when he opens them again, Jaemin's smile has disappeared, and he's immediately hit with another wave of ecstasy as Jaemin moves over him. </p><p>"<em> Please </em>" he chokes out to the best of his ability, breath coming short, Jaemin's fingers on his neck unrelenting in their hold. </p><p>"Please what? Use your words, baby", Jaemin chides, releasing some of the pressure so that Dejun can speak.</p><p>Taking deep breaths, Dejun splutters, "Anything, please, anything."</p><p>Jaemin just tilts his head as if deep in thought, eyes never leaving Dejun's face. Despite their position, despite all that's transpired, Dejun still finds himself blushing and averting his eyes from the loaded gaze trained on him. </p><p>"Fuck, you're so fucking <em> cute </em> it's so unfair," Jaemin practically <em> growls, </em>and pulls Dejun harshly to him, prying his mouth open and licking into it, teeth clashing. </p><p>Jaemin's hands wander under Dejun's sweater, squeezing hard at Dejun's hips before reaching up to twist and caress his nipples. Dejun almost jumps, and another wave of pleasure shoots through him as Jaemin moves to tongue the side of his neck, teeth nipping lightly so as to not leave a mark but sharp enough to get Dejun squirming in his seat.</p><p>"You're like putty in my hands, God. Do you even know how fucking crazy you make me, Dejunnie? Should I show you?" Jaemin asks harshly against his neck. He shifts slightly to the side and grinds himself down on Dejun's thigh, and Dejun can literally feel how hard he is through his trousers and he wants to <em> scream </em>. He whimpers instead, head tilting back and shaking harder than ever. </p><p>Jaemin reaches a hand behind his head and pulls him back up, taking off his glasses with his other hand and placing them on the table behind him without looking away from Dejun. <em> How does he just keep staring like that-  </em></p><p>Dejun blinks once, twice and a slow grin spreads on Jaemin's face. "You're so beautiful, hyung," he whispers, admiration and awe dripping thick like honey from his words. Dejun's heart stutters and his eyes widen, not expecting those words. </p><p>"I, uh, what, I'm-"</p><p>This time Jaemin is the one to shut him up. They kiss for what feels like hours, until Dejun finds that he can't ignore the aching problem in his jeans. Jaemin sucks sweetly at his jaw, trailing his mouth downwards, and as if sensing Dejun's predicament, moves his fingers to pull down the zip of his jeans. </p><p>"Jaemin-ah, wait," he calls suddenly, unsure. </p><p>"What? You deserve this, Junnie. You've been so cute and good and pliant. Let me give this to you, hmm?"</p><p>Dejun can't help but nod violently.</p><p>He scrambles to sit up and Jaemin slides down, settling onto his knees, fingers making quick work of the button and the zip. Before he knows it Jaemin has already got his cock out, heavy and fully hard in his hold. </p><p>If Dejun hasn't already died, he's sure he feels his soul leaving his body at the sight in front of him. </p><p>He leans back on his elbows automatically, and vibrates on the spot when Jaemin takes his first tentative lick. </p><p>He grips the base tightly with his thumb and index finger, stroking ever so lightly while his tongue swirls around the tip. Dejun bites his lip, one hand reaching out to grip Jaemin's dark hair tightly. </p><p>What he wasn't expecting was Jaemin to straight up <em>moan </em>like a bitch in heat at the simple gesture. The sound, of course, travels straight to Dejun's dick, twitching in Jaemin's hold. </p><p>Jaemin licks at the tip again and looks up, Dejun's hand not moving from his hair, eyes hooded and dark. He shuffles, leaning further down, Dejun scooting ahead to chase his mouth. </p><p>Jaemin, from this lower angle, is able to take his cock halfway into his mouth while looking up and maintaining eye contact, watching Dejun's every moan and shudder like a hawk. He slowly starts bobbing his head up and down, fingers making quick strokes of the parts his throat can't reach. </p><p>Dejun doesn't think he's going to make it out of this room alive. </p><p>He curses in Cantonese, all coherent thought leaving his brain. Jaemin bats his eyelids and looks back down to suck properly now, mouth moving in practiced motions, fingers stroking the base. When he hollows his cheeks and sucks extra tight over the tip, popping off with a lewd squelching sound before going back in, Dejun finds that he can't stop his damned mouth from running. </p><p>"Fuck, <em> fuck </em>, Zaimin ge."</p><p>Jaemin's eyes flash up, startled, but he doesn't stop, instead moaning around his cock, the sound vibrating deliciously, and Dejun doesn't have the time to feel embarrassed, groaning and tightening his hold in Jaemin's hair.</p><p>Dejun knows he's not going to last much longer, Jaemin unrelenting as he maintains his pace. A familiar pleasure simmers and builds, almost rising to the surface, and it bubbles hotly as Jaemin pulls back to breathe, licking the underside of his cock lazily, batting his eyelashes and moaning for extra effect. </p><p>"Jaemin-ah, I'm so close, I'm-"</p><p>Jaemin simply dives back in, this time stretching down to let the tip hit the back of his throat. Dejun shudders and twitches, tempted to thrust into his mouth, but he controls himself. Jaemin stays there for a few seconds before pulling off wetly, groaning at the tightness in his throat. </p><p>"Jaemin-" </p><p>He's cut off again by Jaemin doing the same thing again, this time coming up slowly, lips tight. He swoops back down again, and just like that, he finds a good rhythm. Not too fast and keeping his lips close together, pleasure thrumming in Dejun's veins tenfold. </p><p>"I'm going to- Jaemin, I'm so-"</p><p>Stars burst in front of Dejun's eyes and he cries out, chest heaving. Jaemin slows his pace considerably, stroking him through his orgasm and milking every last drop, swallowing thickly. </p><p>Dejun's arm drops from his hair and onto the couch, and he's suddenly feeling like he's run a marathon. Jaemin cleans his dick slowly, his touch now sensitive and almost paiful, before finally pulling away and sitting back on the floor, panting slowly. </p><p>"That was-"</p><p>"Yeah."</p><p>They sit back and stare at each other with lopsided grins, and Dejun belatedly basks in this version of Jaemin; unguarded, relaxed, with no trace of bravado or carefully calculated movements. </p><p>It's just two young boys sitting close, shallow breaths filling the silence of the room and revelling in the presence of the other.</p><p>After several long minutes, Jaemin gets up, finding a tissue box. They clean themselves to the best of their abilities, and just when Dejun is throwing the last tissue into the dustbin, his phone rings. "Kun ge" flashes on his screen as he pulls it out. </p><p>"Yes, sorry I'm late. I'm with Zaimin, don't worry. I just forgot to text that I'll be delayed. Yeah I'll be back soon, don't wait for me. Sorry. Yes. See you, ge." </p><p>Jaemin snorts in amusement when he disconnects. "I didn't understand any of that but your parent sounds concerned."</p><p>Dejun just sighs, "Someone's gotta be the responsible one amongst us." </p><p>Jaemin merely hums, running his fingers through the inky black strands. </p><p>
  <em> God, he's so attractive. </em>
</p><p>Dejun steps forward once, then twice, and kisses him sweetly, lingering a bit longer than necessary. Jaemin stays stock still, and when Dejun pulls away, he grins widely from ear to ear. </p><p>"I would love to return the favour normally, but," Dejun starts, guilt colouring his tone.</p><p>"No. It's okay. I need to actually head back anyways and get some sleep before tomorrow's practice." Jaemin replies, blinking, looking tired just thinking about it. </p><p>Dejun just nods once and squeezes his hands before letting go. </p><p>They are aware that they're going to be seeing each other again for end of year dance practices, broadcasts and other group activities. Finding time for just the two of them, however, is a different scenario altogether. </p><p>Neither of them know when the next time is going to be, so as they both get their bags and prepare to leave, they know they're trying to stretch time as much as possible.</p><p>Dejun watches as Jaemin slings his bag over his arm. He knows well by now that Jaemin can be quite reserved, keeping to himself and slinking away when too much activity happens or too many members congregate at one time. So, he tentatively starts, "You should join us, sometime. I see Renjun and Chenle quite often, Haechan too. I don't know, maybe you don't want to-"</p><p>"I do," Jaemin smiles. "I'll be there whenever that plan with Jeno and the others materializes."</p><p>Dejun sees the sincerity in his eyes and nods, smiling.</p><p>He thinks back to awkward conversations during Make a Wish, stilted Korean, tripping over sentences, then growing into small smiles and quiet greetings, sneaking discreet glances at each other through the floor-length mirrors of the practice room. </p><p>One day, something between them shifted. They were backstage at a music show. Dejun had been alone in the room, waiting for the stylist to come back with a particular shade of eyeshadow. Jaemin walked in just then, and they made eye contact through the mirror. Dejun swallowed nervously but smiled nevertheless, going back to his phone. He'd gotten the sense that Jaemin wasn't ready to approach him just yet and he didn't want to make him uncomfortable.</p><p>He remembers them not speaking much, but by the time the stylist came back to the room, Dejun's hair was slightly ruffled and his lipstick needed to be re-applied. Jaemin, sitting on the couch to the side and listening to music, had smirked to himself as the stylist mumbled her complaints and Dejun squirmed in his seat.</p><p>Dejun shakes his head, coming back to the present when Jaemin's phone beeps with a message. </p><p>"Jisung wants me to cook for him tonight. Poor kid can’t even boil water to save his life," he says with a chuckle, pocketing his phone. They exit the room together and walk slowly towards the elevator. </p><p>"Kun ge is cooking tonight. Maybe one day we can all make something and have a big feast with 23 dishes!"</p><p>Jaemin's eyebrows raise in interest at that, "You should pitch that to the SM content team, it's a recipe for disaster and the fans would love it." </p><p>Dejun flushes a little at the praise, "Well, I was kind of kidding but maybe it isn't <em> all </em> that bad of an idea." He pauses, suppressing his grin as he continues, "Either ways, you should cook for me. One day when we're less busy." </p><p>“Should have known you were using me for a free meal,” Jaemin drawls but there’s no bite to his tone, eyes sparkling with mirth.</p><p>As they enter the elevator, Jaemin’s smile softens as he looks at Dejun. "One day, for sure, hyung. We'll make a date out of it."</p><p>Right before the lift doors clang shut, two hands reach out and close the distance between them comfortably.</p>
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